Are There Lutheran Cops In London? Doubtful.

I would say that it's pretty safe to state that there are no Lutheran police officers in the once great city London. Any self respecting Lutheran wouldn’t be caught dead in such a vehicle!

I’m guessing that if there are any self respecting Lutherans serving as bobbies that they would take walking beats rather than be an apostate of the League.

Here’s the source of the sad photo.

A Great Vehicle For The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse

Anybody who knows me knows that I’m always planning for the eventual zombie apocalypse. Just because good Lutheran drivers should always drive by faith alone, doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be prepared for “little problems.” And believe you me, I’m prepared for the upcoming zombie onslaught.

With that in mind, imagine my delight in finding out that the Monomobile Co., based out of Cincinnati has created the Liberator. The Liberator is a vehicle that combines two technologies for the ultimate ride when fleeing zombies. It's an electric car in the city, but then once you get out of town, it adapts to ride electric rails at high speeds. Imagine racing along at 200 miles per hour as you go from city to city looking for your fellow man so as to ban together to rid the world of the walking dead.

I gots to git me one of those things. I just hope the Liberators come in a two seat version so I bring along my missus.

I’m Just Going Where She Tells Me

"Turn right in 1 mile then stay right. Drive one mile and exit. At first available chance please perform a u-turn." For crying out loud I wish this chick would shut up. Her non stop blabbering about where I am and where I should be is going to drive me absolutely insane! Back seat divers are bad enough but when they are in sitting up front with me in the 4Runner, it’s enough to push me to the worst case scenario of road rage. If Rita doesn’t shut up, perky Katie Couric will be reporting a very tragic event tonight on the evening news. Rita? Who the heck is Rita you ask?Rita is a GPS unit, as in global positioning satellite direction finding gizmo. She is the electronic forward sitting version of a biological back seat driver, the bane of any driver. Longeyemoose was "gracious" enough to lend her to me for my trip this week to New England. This week I’m in Maryland receiving some factory training so might I service and repair certain laboratory instruments and fight soulless dominion of corporate orthodoxy; my former employers. (Later this week I’m paying a visit to my folks in upstate NY.) As this is my first visit to Maryland I accepted the "gift" of Rita so that I didn’t have to purchase any more maps as I already have too many.Now I think that GPS units are really cool, no if, and, or buts about it. It’s fascinating how a couple of satellites and software can tell a driver not only where he is but where he should be as well. Technology is a wonderful thing.But today I realized that there might just be a downside to listening to Rita tell me where I should be going, I’ve absolutely no idea where I am. Really. Because I’ve been listening to Rita and following her instructions blindly, I’ve no idea where I am, which way is the correct way back to the hotel, or even which direction is north. In other words, although I am where I’m supposed to be, I’m lost. If the power adapter and batteries die, I’m in serious, serious trouble.
I’ve never left home before without at least one map. Why I didn’t over prepare for this trip is mystery as I would usually have every map from Florida to Nova Scotia jut to go to Maryland. Again, if anything bad happens to Rita, I’m in trouble!And I know this is hard to believe, but all I could think of on the way back to my hotel was how lost I would be without catechesis from my pastor back at home. Just as nobody in their right mind would start a trip to Maryland not knowing how to go where they should be going, why would we expect baptized Christians to hear a ten minute sermon, call it quits for the week, and just go on their merry way?I guess this is just stuck in my head for two reasons; first, all these mission boards I sit on, they seem to run by folks who don’t want to "scare away" the unchurced with real doctrine, Word, and Sacrament. The phrase "we need to meet people where they are at" keeps getting blurted out. I’ve got no problem meeting people where they are at per se, but sooner or later you will need to give them some directions. This is done by the right preaching of the Word, administration of the Sacraments, and, uh, I don’t know, maybe recommending that folks should actually read the Bible.The second reason this idea is stuck in my noggin is that I’ve heard more than once from people who should know better; "as long as we go to a church that’s what’s important." To which I would respond; ya know, I’m glad you’re going to church but that statement is just rubbish! That’s like telling me as long as I stick to the interstate I’ll get to where I’m going. What if I’m on the road to Skagway, AK and I need to go to Baltimore, MD? I’m on a road yes, but I’m on the wrong road and nobody has told me differently! Now why would anyone treat church in a manner that they wouldn’t treat a driver going to Baltimore?When Christ commands the disciples in Matthew 28:19,20 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you; and lo I am with you always, even to the end of the age." He doesn’t say just give ‘em the keys to the family car and let’s see if they can find Baltimore. He says make them disciples, baptize them, and teach them to obey everything that He has commanded. Did Christ say that faith was a part time job? No!And the writer to the Hebrews in Hebrews 5:12 tells the congregation "for by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food." The writer of the epistle is saying that sure at one time they needed something lighter, but now they need to grow up and start eating real spiritual food instead milk just as a child will eventually need to be weaned from it’s mother. At some point in time, he tells them, ya gotta grow up and learn. It’s not enough just to phone it in. In other words, pick up and read the darned map. Learn where you are at, learn where you need to go.And so I don’t get hit with "Frank, now you are starting to sound like a legalist"; if you read the map you will find out that the directions are already on the map. Christ wrote out the map, the legend, and the directions in His own blood and posted it for all to see on the cross! And we as poor sinful creatures still need to read the map, constantly and every day precisely because we are sinful.I know that some might think I’m reaching to make a point here, but I would argue otherwise. Just go ahead and try to find your way to a destination without knowing where you are going and get back to me. If you can find out where you need to go and actually get there, I’ll eat a crow, (mmm, crow, mouth watering crow). Scripture tells us faith is given to us by the hearing of God’s Word. But we should not consider faith to be static because it just can’t be. Faith grows and it needs to be fed, and one of the ways that happens is by daily reading of Scripture. To even think otherwise is as dangerous as hopping in a car and thinking you will get to Baltimore without a map or road signs.

Driving By Faith

I've been thinking, uh oh. I was talking to an acquaintance of mine and he informed me of something very disturbing. An orthodox Lutheran was trying to drive around town today using a Global Positioning System traffic navigation system.

Wisegeeks says this about GPS "It refers to a system of satellites and receivers that allow people and devices to pinpoint their precise location on the earth. The heart of the system relies on 24 satellites that orbit the earth twice per day. Devices that are equipped with GPS equipment receive transmissions from at least a few of the satellites and are able to discern very precise positioning data.
The first GPS satellite was launched in 1974 and the 24th was launched in 1994. The system is operated by the United States Department of Defense and use of the system is free for anyone. New satellites are periodically launched to replace aging ones.

Ok, I like gadgets as much as the next guy, but this is the Lutheran League of Extraordinary Drivers! Where in perdition is the faith to drive boldly by faith alone? Where I ask? Why in the world are you going to use GPS? This is not driving by faith alone! This can only be viewed as works righteous driving. This is following the rules and institutes that the satellites tell you to follow. Where is the joy of just hopping in that new M3 to just drive. Where is the faith to just climb into the Hemi powered Magnum"s leather seat with the faith to believe that by divine grace you will get exactly where you intend to.

In my ever so humble opinion, it is a Calvinist that looks to satellites for his directions. It is a Calvinist that removes the divine mysteries of driving. It is the Calvinist who looks so trustingly to the sky for answers that may or may not come.

But it is the Lutheran League of Extraordinary Drivers (LLED) who know that it is by faith alone we shall drive. It is LLED who laugh at those worshiping their false gods in the sky who supposedly get them to their destination! Just as the Baal failed his prophets on Mount Carmel 1 Kings 18:20-40, how far into despair will they sink before they realize the GPS gods have nothing to offer but false hope.

This is the importance of LLED! It is our duty, our responsibility, to bring the good news of driving by faith alone. It is our task to pick the Calvinist up from the gutter of despair and show them once again the divine mystries. It falls on us to help them to stop driving in circles around the parking lot at the local mall. It is our solemn vow to come to the aid of our weaker brothers.

What Would Dr. Luther Drive?

Nuff said! Mm'kay.

The New Popemobile.

The Romans, who are just completely wrong on the doctrine of driving by faith alone have released this photo of the new pope-mobile. Only those who have have faith in a works righteous driving theology would accept delivery of this abomination of an automobile.

Are you a good driver? You could be!

"Are you an extraordinary driver? Really, on our own who of us is? We all fall well short of extraordinary, truth be told, don't we?And why is that so? What keeps us from being extraordinary drivers? At LLED, we ask ourselves questions like this all the time, or at least as often as the nice state trooper who pulls us over asks: "Son, what the hell do you think you're doing!" We don't pretend to have all the answers. Some questions only the Lord Himself can answer. Often the truth is: we just don't know.
However, at LLED, we think we've found a few barriers between us and the extraordinary and have glimpsed, just possibly, some ways by which those barriers just might be surmounted.
"When Dr. Luther (of blessed memory) recovered the great apostolic solas:
grace alone, faith alone, Christ alone, it was cause for rejoicing. We still rejoice over these mighty truths. But how many of us really live by faith alone? Grace alone? Christ alone? Sadly, even those of us most deeply devoted to the pure Gospel must admit "Well, not that often." Take your driving for instance: What do you really trust to get you there? Christ alone? His grace alone? When we are honest with ourselves we find we trust in Christ--partly. But how much more do we put our faith in the Honda Motor Company? In driver's side airbags? In anti-lock brakes? In our own cautious and prudence adherence to posted speed limits? Now, don't get us wrong:
we're not saying Honda, anti-lock brakes or prudence are necessarily bad things! We're just saying none of them, finally, is really gets us where we're going.
At LLED we're committed to encouraging and supporting one another in really living out our Lutheran faith. Not just in church on Sunday mornings. Not just at Wednesday night Vespers. Not just at our evening devotions. But all the time. Especially on the highways and byways of this great and free land.
We believe faith alone, grace alone, is so much more than a slogan--that finally, it is a way of life, yes--even a way to drive. And in those rare moments when we are freed from all earthly worry and concern, when faith alone drives us, when grace alone supports us, and the holes in traffic open before us, we get a glimpse of that extraordinary driver we could be, will be, one day, in the eschaton, by Christ's almighty power. Look out Michael Schumacher! My friends, it is something so extraordinary words cannot capture it. It can only be experienced. So, what drives you? That's all we're asking. We don't want your money. We don't want your time. We're not trying to guilt trip you into getting out there and trying to atone for the sins of thoughtless, reckless drivers. No, no--no need for that! We just want you to ask yourself, what drives me--really?

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